For love? For money? For both or nothing

Love Money or both“I cannot date, love, let alone marry a broke (with little or less than sufficient in terms of financial strength) guy” the young woman shared while in a singles (un married) meeting.

“I have had enough relationship with ‘broke’ to last me a lifetime during my upbringing . He should be earning descent money to take care of me.” She said.

While in the same meeting, a young man laments “loving a broke girl /woman comes with baggage… I wouldn’t want to walk down that road.”

Money is for some more important than love. The thought of even entering into a relationship without owning it or concrete guarantees of getting it, especially spells doom from the onset for many of us. On the contrary for some, love is the more important test for entering into a relationship; it makes their world go round.

For the lovers of money, it is at this point that my pious friends will give you the moral high ground about love and money shaken together quote- “money is the root of all evil.” Not only is the scripture misquoted [“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” – 1 Tim 6:10], it makes those who have a lot more money seem evil.

It is damning and idolatry to the minds of a few people, to grasp or even toy with the idea of anyone wanting or having a lot of money; even worse when a person (s) have both love and money in abundance. One would then ask which of the two would you be willing live without? That is a question, I will leave to you my friend.

We were designed to thrive better with both. Money isn’t the root of all evil. It is the obsessive lust for it and the abominable things which we would do to satisfy the craving for it which makes it evil. If the desire turns into an obsession, to the point of greed, at which point it begins to control us, then that is what makes money the root of all kinds of evil.

Wanting or even having both is by all means the most ideal situation. Do you ever question or wonder if when life’s stage is set with both scenes; ‘love with no money’, and ‘money with no love’, which choice of scene you as an actor would set your cast? Each actor’s choice of scene will be one in which even when subjected to the highest of temperatures, s/he will still fit perfectly into the mould pre-set by the scene. It will depict which of the two aspects the actor(s) places the highest value on. Considering that people are lovers of money today just as it was in the past is nothing new under the sun; yet in today the scarcity, hunt and desire for money seems to consume us at higher degrees.  May be its just my perception as I imagine the prostitute who often weighs between falling in love with this regular customer and collecting the money with no semblance of love! She ends up preferring the latter. Can you have both? Should you have both? Can you function with one and not the other?……

I will be back …..


Rants of the ‘Children’

mentorToday, there is an expectation from many and for most of us to have a mentor or be a mentee, have a spiritual parent or be a spiritual child, be a coach or a coachee …..whatever, I know you get my drift. If you are neither being mentored nor mentoring, discipling nor being discipled, ….. the squints, eye rolls, … on the faces of those who interact with you, will tell it all. While it is true, we all need to have someone we look up to, it matters where that person draws from. The source of our mentors, spiritual parents, …or coaches should be important, because as a disciple, you are inadvertently drawing from their same source. So they should have a source higher than themselves, and that can only be God.

As children, we are expected to treat them with honor, respect, reverence, love and all that, without a doubt. A recent conversation got me asking or ranting… and I thought, there were pertinent questions we needed to ask ourselves;

Who is my mentor, spiritual parent, coach, …. intentionally or unintentionally pointing me to?

When my mentor, spiritual parent,…. is going cuckoo’s / going off course, I what do?

When my mentor, spiritual parent, …. makes headlines for a reason that isn’t biblical, moral or ethically right, does it affect my belief system? Am I obliged to support them in their wickedness?

Is my mentor, spiritual parent, coach, ….. above rebuke?

Is the ego of my mentor too big admit his wrong and repent?

If I faultier, will they abandon me? Among others

And after all is said, then you ask yourself the one million dollar question;

Who do I want those I intend to mentor or are mentoring, parenting, coaching…., to imitate?

We cannot deny the brokenness of the society we live in and acknowledge that some of these mentors, spiritual parents…. have taken advantage of their protégé’s, abused their trust and manipulated them. Because we are not taught on how to deal with abuse of authority from our spiritual parents, mentors, coaches, ….will never be old enough to even correct them, it is imperative that there be some grounded truths in the word of the Lord below which you and I will not compromise on, no matter who is speaking into our lives.

Follow me and imitate me as I imitate Christ should be the benchmark of the person whom you look up to. Their values should be straight even when faced with ugliness and crookedness. Today some of these relationships have twists. They are imitate and follow me with no questions asked kind of relationships where the expectation is that one’s mind is without sense of reason. This is leaving many children, disciples,…. broken with more questions than answers on their minds.

Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God. 3 John 1: 11  

When your spiritual parent, mentor is above reproach, rebuke, and correction; when you do not see Jesus in them, have the courage to leave so that when the devil finds you he has the courage to say “your mentor, spiritual parent, coach,….. I know, but who are you? And you will boldly say I AM A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH.


Nevertheless At His Word….

At1Quite often we are so hung up on what we should have achieved by a certain time in our lives. Married at 24yrs, have children by 26, build a house and drive my first car before 30, own this and that, and retire at 35 yrs, traveled half the world by 40, build a church by 45….. the list is endless. And those who have achieved these things in within those time frames, have not made it any easier for you or me in light of their standards. Imagine the challenge Patrick Bitature, Amos Wekesa, Mark Zukerberg, Bill Gates, Sean Parker….. Bad black, and many others present to some of us in terms of achievements and net worth? It is true that when we have not met our set marks, the sense of failure and hopelessness creeps in. We beat ourselves about it, dine and wine with self-pity as we deem our lives a waste. I know I have been a victim at some points or moments in my life and this leads to self-pity.  Couldn’t agree more with this quote;

“Self-pity doesn’t usually attract sympathy but it does attract every kind of dark spirit” – Kris Valloton

Some of us have been boxed by the decisions we have made, others have been dealt life’s ‘hardest’ blows, they wonder if recovery is even possible, let alone an option. Whatever yours and my case may be, I know that all it takes is one word from the Lord and or one moment in THE presence of the Most High to alter your present and preset or align your future. That Word and Presence transcend time and space.

Abram’s life was altered by His word [Gen 12] in just a moment at his age!

Saul encountered a prophet who gave him a word from the Lord, and that altered the course of his life. [1 Sam 9]

David also encountered the man of God and just like that, the course of his life changed. David wasn’t born from royalty, if anything, Jonathan was his father’s rightful heir; yet he rose from shepherding sheep to shepherding people. And just like that, his present was altered and his destiny aligned for generations to come. [1 Sam 16]

In Luke 5, Simon and his partners had toiled all night

5 But Simon answered and said to Him, “Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.” 6 And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking……. And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid. From now on you will catch men.”

How about that?

Nevertheless at His Word, you can in an instance achieve effortlessly what others have toiled for, for years. Therefore, courage my friend as you seek to be in His presence, for better is one day in His house than a thousand elsewhere because dark doubting spirits will torment you.

He remembers His covenant forever, The word which He commanded, for a thousand generations, … Psalms 105:8

You may have toiled all your life, feeling like you haven’t done anything significant at your age, your net worth is not even close to your age mates, course mates, and nothing is going according to plan….. well, fret not.His plans toward you and me are good and that is His covenant forever. An encounter with Him in Word and or Presence will alter your present state and align your future forever.

At thy word


The Sanctity of the Garment

salvBack in the day, the church wore the garment of salvation with a deep outward revere to represent the inward state of their belief or better still their acceptance of the teachings of the Bible in its entirety. The ‘Law’ and the traditions that accompanied it, was followed to near letter.  Short natural hair, long dresses, ten commandments, ….., in other words, there was no middle ground on so many things the church (you and me) struggles with today. Sin was sin and the punishment was harsh (or at least from where many assume we are standing today). In fact many of us wouldn’t want to live in that time.

Once the garment became stained, it was upon me to determine how much this garment meant to me, and the lengths I would go to have it restored. Today the process of restitution of the garment is deemed punishment [operating under the Law]. The harshness of the punishment (as we love to term it) in the process of restitution, meant admitting the sin, taking rebuke, repenting of it and allowing God to cover your nakedness. Man however would rather hide in the bushes than to admit he has eaten of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. We have forgotten that He made them tunics, even after they had clothed themselves with fig leaves.

I wonder, if the sanctity of this garment has evolved or been abused as we boldly hide under our newly discovered friend called GRACE? We claim to love Him in our hearts – the inward state and ooh yes Christ looks at the heart not our outward appearance or deeds as we so dearly remind ourselves. It is as though what we do should be separated from what we hold in true our hearts. What nonsense!

What manner of shame, we bring to the garment of salvation today, where stealing is called working smart and adultery simplified to just flirting or an affair, ….. list goes on.

We have become dead to God and alive to sin, all in the covers of Grace. While at it, we abuse of a freedom and liberty that was so preciously given to us through death on the cross.

I pray we wear the garment of salvation and accord to it, its due sanctity, because He who clothes us is Holy. And may our actions revere what our hearts wear on the inside – Our Lord Jesus Christ.


The Frozen Chosen

frozenUntil recently, I had never heard the words or term ‘Frozen Chosen’ used in reference to the Christians or church. Since google is every one’s friend, I asked him/her and actually found it in the ‘Christianese’ dictionary which defined it as;

“Primarily, the term refers to those Christians who are more reserved in their religious life.”

“Holy Rollers” they are called. We have ‘loved’ Jesus so much that we have made religion out of it but are too blind to see that He isn’t in ‘our religion’. The bigger portion of what we call ‘Church’ [The people] today has already set rules, programmes, and a to-go by list which if not adhered to, then one is deemed carnal, satanic…and represents everything not of God. It is the way ‘we’ do things, the way things were…… so you are not permitted to think, do, or act otherwise.

Church has frozen itself to “as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be…”, yet selective over all that was permissible in the beginning. This ‘church’ shuns the supernatural with their minds limiting God to I WAS. To them, the move of the Holy Spirit is contained in one action(s) – the one(s) they deem acceptable to them. Some churches believe you must fall down under the presence of the Holy Spirit, and demonize those who do not, women were never called to the preach in churches, the office of the apostle, prophet or teacher is not important….and so many other ‘ritualistic practices’ we have adopted. To limit God is to malnourish ones spirit man.

The evidence of His out pouring is experienced  in vast ways and embraced by some while the limited perception of the frozen chosen is starved. Yes they will make it to heaven, however imagine getting there and being told, whatever you shunned or criticised, was yours to enjoy?

God throughout the bible, says “I AM the Lord, I AM Almighty God, and I AM your shield…” In Ex 3 Moses asked Him, “The God of our Fathers…What is His name…?” and God responded “I AM”. He refers to Himself in the present not “I was the One who…”. Things can’t remain the way they were because that has never been God’s intention. To Adam, He came down in the cool of the day, to Noah, He spoke directly, to Abraham, He sent the prophet, angels and spoke straight from His Holy throne….. now imagine Abraham was waiting to experience God ONLY as Noah’s did? We can’t and should not limit the moving of the Spirit of God to the perception of our yesterday’s limited minds. Taking the limits off our frozen minds, not only frees us, but also allows us and others to experience Him in ways which become testimonies that overcome the enemy.

I pray that we awake to what God is doing today and embrace it because in so doing, our spirit man is renewed and refreshed.

… If You Fall Down and Worship Me

And he said to Him, “All these things I will give you if you fall down and worship me.”Matt 4:9

1Sex has become the centre piece of worship in many marriages and the main agenda for those courting / relationship. Having it, is said to be taking the relationship (those dating) to another level, while in a marriage setting it’s the ‘idol’ that holds the marriage together, and its absence, …. well I’ll leave that for you to fill in for now.

In this era of lowered morals, sex has become an object/ item /thing… idolised and worshiped. Why? Because for most, it has given us ‘all things’  – love, money, jobs & promotions, intimacy, wholeness, identity…. as the god of this world would have us think. So we continually fall to worship because ingrained in us is that disturbing thought, that sex answers all things; but has it answered all the emptiness you display when it’s not given?

For most African cultures, premarital counselling for a girl, constitutes 85% sex talk, and how to satisfy a man. Today when a man says “my marriage is boring”, 90% of the bore has everything to do with the quantity and or quality of sex. How then can we not say it has become an idol? The trade and industry  is itself a booming business and in its wake has made its victim’s slaves.

People with high libidos, the perverts, the sex predators, they  can’t help themselves, they are on a wild rush to worship. The beauty of and in sex, has been brought low. The seeming pleasure displayed in pornography, the unrestrained sex from those with multiple partners, those who masturbate, … all displays a sense of pleasure, satisfaction and fulfilment. Worse still we think God made us that way.

Sexy is appealing, intriguing, attractive… the opposite being dull and boring; who even wants the opposite?

Girl / woman’s has been tuned to think, sex is all there is for her to offer and boy / man has been tuned to view sex as all there is to receive from a woman.

People are raped, urges satisfied, tantrums thrown, favours obliged to, pressures succumbed to; the idol has got to be worshiped. That temporal fulfilment, creates an even bigger emptiness in man bringing him to a point of hopelessness. When then after bowing down, are all things given?

It is true, we have fallen down and worshiped sex in order to get all things. Think on it for a moment.

If you don’t have sex, you are dysfunctional, then when you start having it, it is the main course on your menu, when you lose a loved one it’s supposed to comforts one ….. [the make-believe list is endless]

When the object of ‘our worship’ is removed, then the nakedness of our emptiness and frustration on the inside is revealed. And that is all the things the god of this age will give you. We are called to worship the creator, not the created.

Jesus was wise enough to discern that the promise to give Him all things, was a lie from the devil.


Man shall not live on sex alone

There’s more to life than sex. All of life cannot be summed up in the one act sex.  While I will claim insanity for those in the world, I still do not know the case for the Christian – because they have twisted and crafted the word of God to suit the twist in their minds!

  • Thinking that the No. 1 need of a man is sex is to justify his lust and that is insane.
  • Sex is not food. To see it that way is carnality because not only is food for the stomach, our bodies can also do without it (fast) for a while. Worshiping an object / item… deludes one of a relationship with its creator.

Most men have equated satisfaction from sex as the true definition of a fulfilling relationship and true intimacy! It is the only way men feel loved! What a lie. Functioning from that disadvantaged point makes man miss out on real meaning of closeness, affection and companionship – intimacy.

To understand sex, is to restore your relationship with God because it is in Him that we find purpose, fulfilment, …..  and restoration. Sex is a gift from God and not a right. Knowing that it is a gift enables us to understand that none of us is entitled and thereby making us grateful when we receive it. It is more than just an act. Having it in the confines of marriage goes beyond the flesh to include the soul and spirit. It ministers  beyond words taking you to a place called in-to-me-you-see. Sex is sacred; it should be treated thus because it was created to bring Him glory.

I will leave you with this;

Whenever we enter into sexual intercourse with selfish motives, we are even more alone than we were before. The loneliness increases our appetite for the union, which is usually translated into a need for more sexual intercourse. We cannot rid ourselves of loneliness and isolation by cheapening ourselves[An excerpt from Unlocking Marital BlissCyrus Rod]



Sex Answers All Things; Does It Really?

Sex Answers AllI live in a world and have been raised in a culture where young girls, ladies, soon to be wives are told sex answers all things. The boys, young men, soon to be husbands are not told any different; it is an entitlement to them.

The girl is told, taught or meant to think that, for that non committing boyfriend, sex will cement the relationship. The soon to be wife is told, the number one need of a man is sex. The wife has sadly discovered that for her to get anything out of this man she calls husband, sex is paramount. The lack of it on all these fronts has presented innumerable problems; the ‘good’ things have been withheld from the sisters while loneliness / emptiness’ has embraced the brothers!

The boy thinks or is directed to think, he has dominion over all so he can have sex whenever the need comes. The soon to be married man can’t wait to start having sex whenever he needs it, after all it is the one thing that will communicate love to him. The married man now thinks it is my right I cannot live without it. Oooops I am entitled to it, why else did I marry you?

While those in the ‘world’ live ignorantly because they do not know any better, I don’t know the case among the Christians because they have scripture to back up the MUST have. Some of which include;

Gen 3:16 “….. Your desire shall be for your husband, …” in other words deal with it;

1 Cor 7:5 “Do not deprive one another except with mutual consent…..” which will or may never happen except you are saved by a doctor’s report – after a second and third opinion;

1 Cor 7:4 “The wife does not have authority over her own body…..” if I get tempted outside of the marriage, don’t blame me.

[Italics my carnal interpretation]

So while the Christians claim not to be of this world, they walk around with more world than one has ammunition for.

The culture in which I was born doesn’t talk much or openly about sex; it is near taboo. When talked about, there is no depth or beauty of richness, except a bunch of rules especially to the female specie. It entitles the boys and men to sex with no questions asked while nearly excusing them from any consequences. And it charges the girls and woman to give it withholding nothing while holding them responsible for all the consequences. The irony of it is that women write books telling women how to love their husbands and in there, is boosting a man’s self-esteem, intimacy, respect, ego, identity … all tied in to the one act, sex. The men are also writing books telling women and  showing them how the man’s needs, are to be met in order to have a functional relationship. The foundations were broken and the brokenness is being passed on to generations. A sad scenario, but something’s got to break somewhere for restoration to happen.

Today, the jobless girl / woman thinks to use sex to get money – there are willing buyers and she believes it’s the only way to make money. The careers girl/woman uses sex to get a promotion and that much needed perk. The student gives sex for better grades. Then the wife then gives it for duty’s sake. Sex answers all things! It makes me wonder about the career man who needs a promotion but has a female boss, the male student who also wants good grades but has a male lecturer / teacher, the jobless man and that husband whose wife is terminally ill! What are his options? Does sex answer all things?

To know and appreciate sex is to know the author and understand what it is there for. When He made all things, he saw that it was good. So why then does a good thing become a curse to many?

To be continued!!!!